After dinner one evening, Corey went outside to water the plants so I starting to clean up the kitchen and finished watching a show. When I was done, I walked outside and saw Corey sitting in porch. As I messed around with our overgrown fern on the deck, we started talking.  

Then Corey stopped midsentence, “You have a butterfly on your head,” he said.

I smiled “I do?” I asked.

Excited, I turned my head slightly and the butterfly took off, flying around me in a timeless dance before landing on the railing of our deck. I decided to walk over and take a picture of the beautiful creature that graced me with this honor. With my footsteps pulsing though the wooden deck, he fluttered a few times and then rested himself on top of a shell we had gotten in Okinawa, Japan. I continued to walk closer to get a clearer picture.

“You’re going to scare him away,” Corey warned.

As I closed the gap, to my surprise, I did not and snapped another picture. I put the phone down and realized that as much I was watching him, he was watching me.

In the moment I felt as if I knew this butterfly and he knew me. I reached my finger out, compelled by an overwhelming urge to be closer to him. As I moved slowly and cautiously the butterfly held his ground, without any fear of me. Both of us were in agreeance and I was able to put my finger right next to him. He did not fly away. The world was moving around me, but our moment was still. I kept my hand there and took one more picture, put my phone down and sustained my gaze. The statue like butterfly startled me out of my trance by the flapping his wings. As the energy of my body jumping vibrated through, it was released towards the butterfly, and he flew away.

I turned to Corey, giddy at my experience. I went into the porch and shared the pictures I had taken. We swiped to the last picture, looked up and there he was again, on the railing of the deck.  I was reminded of something I had read; butterflies can be a symbol of rebirth, growth, or change. That night I went to bed feeling happy, hopeful, and peaceful.

The next morning, I awoke, sat up, stretched my arms above my head and thanked God for another day of life. Then as if I had been stuck by lighting a memory of my dream from that night came rushing back.

My grandpa, standing in front of me with is hands on my shoulders, looking at me with kind eyes. “I’ve been trying to get your attention.” he said with a grin. “Tell everyone I miss being with them and that I love them so much.” Then he was gone.

I sat on the edge of my bed sobbing as I remembered my dream and immediately connected it to the butterfly. With tears still steaming down my face, I smiled, thankful for the residue of my grandpa’s presence, knowing he would always be with me.